my boyfriend and i always fight. what should i do?
I would strongly suggest that you start by talking to your parents about this. I know that’s the last thing most teens want to do, but your parents are your best advisors. If you feel like you can’t talk to them, then talk to another trusted adult.
Fighting in a relationship is NOT healthy. Emotional and verbal abuse is used to make someone feel worthless and totally at the mercy and under the control of the abuser. Abusive people generally become more abusive over time. It often escalates to physical abuse.
Abusive relationships don’t get better on their own. The fighting does not end when you give in or apologize. It’s usually a sign of deep problems in the relationship and will continue to smolder below the surface until it flares up again.
Dating should be a time of figuring out how to relate in healthy ways. It should be fun! What you are learning about relationships while you are dating will not only affect your future marriage, but will also affect the lives of your children. That’s why it’s so important to spend this time wisely and learn how to develop a relationship where both people treat each other with respect.
If this relationship has come to the point where you are fighting a lot, I would strongly suggest ending it and finding a boyfriend who will treat you with respect. There are good guys out there who will treat you right. They might not be easy to find, but that doesn’t mean you should settle for bickering and fighting just to have a boyfriend.
It might seem like I’m taking this way to seriously, but I have seen the end result of abusive relationships. My sister was murdered by her husband after 14 years of abuse that started by fighting and control, escalated to physical and ended with him beating their 13 year old daughter to death with a tire iron, then killing my sister with a hatchet. But honestly, I don’t know which she would say was worse–her murder or the 14 years of being hurt and miserable and lonely and feeling utterly worthless.
Don’t waste time dating anyone who doesn’t treat you with respect.